Failure is an Option
It’s a tough pill to swallow — and even tougher to swallow my pride. Admitting failure is soul-crushing. I was confident I could make it work. I let everyone down. Owning up that XPR is not sustainable was gut-wrenching. I’ve never failed at anything like this before. It’s humbling to say the least.
I made the decision to shut down XPR though we had funds left. I thought long and hard about this, desperate to come up with some last-ditch effort that might salvage this. But there wasn’t. And ultimately, I could not just continuing to burn cash without a path to profitability — this would be unfair to my investors. So I’m pulling the plug and returning what’s left.
I won’t make any excuses. There are no excuses. We create amazing experiences in Ottawa, but with the limited margins, there wasn’t enough scale. We shifted to Vegas with big dreams and plenty of ambition. But despite managing to make ‘impossible’ dreams possible, turns out most people prefer to keep dreaming.
On one hand, we accomplished a lot more than I could possibly have imagined from the experience standpoint: playing with the top poker players in the world, hanging with pro race car drivers, UFC champs, PGA golfers… However, on the demand side, it seemed people were too ‘busy’ living their lives to live their dreams. Thought the headlines say ‘people value experiences more than things’, unfortunately too few are ready to act on this.
If there’s one thing I can be proud of, it’s the invaluable experiences we did make happen. So many people told us their XPR experiences was ‘the best day of their lives’, ‘the best gift ever’, or even ‘changed their lives’. People got into racing with our pro Travis, got to play poker on TV with Phil Hellmuth, or train with former JTF2 special forces. While a failure in monetary terms, there’s no doubt we succeeded in creating unforgettable experiences. These are priceless memories I will never forget.
I’m also grateful for all the wonderful coaches we had the pleasure to work with: like Josh, the blacksmith, who got so many leads from XPR he was able to expand his shop, and Ben, the 16-year-old entrepreneur, who ran one of our top selling Ottawa experiences: walking his llamas.
Then there’s Brian and incredibly infectious energy. When I met him and shared what we were working on he loved it so much he said he wanted to help in any way he could. And he did. He signed up as a hip-hop coach and helped us create videos. I could tell right away he had that entrepreneurial hustle, so I did everything I could to support and encourage him… next thing I know Brian comes to me: “Guess what?” Uh? “I quit my job at the bank! I’m gonna do my own thing now, just like you!” Oh shit. What have I done? I may have been a little too inspiring. I believed in Brian, but felt responsible if it didn’t work out. I promised I’d do anything I could to help him. A year later I get a message: he’s killing it, making more than he ever did at the bank, and absolutely living and loving life. I couldn’t be more proud of this guy.
I couldn’t have asked for a better team, or couple, to have shared this experience with. Matt & Brooke put up with all my crazy ideas, kept me grounded, and supported me always. What means the most though is their unwavering loyalty — no matter what. Seriously. I underpaid them, and still, they stuck around. Now have to lay them off, and still, they stick around. They said whatever I do next, they’re with me. Unreal.
Last but not least, my investors. Drafting the email to tell them I was shutting down XPR was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was ashamed for letting them down. I was embarrassed that I’d failed. It took me a few days to draft it. And a few more to send it. Finally, I just took a very deep breath, closed my eyes, and hit send. I was relieved and panicked all at once. It was a weird sensation. I then checked my phone every 5 minutes waiting for replies. When the answers finally did come I wasn’t prepared for what they would say:
I could breathe again. And I cried a little. And then this:
Blown away. I cried again. In public. There are simply no words — it’s beyond gratitude. It meant everything to me that they supported me in the beginning. It means even more that they still support me now.
Though this pains me to my core, I know I must put on a brave face, keep my head up, and not let failure define or defeat me. I am dead set on using this experience to fuel me in whatever I tackle next.
My new personal mission is to one day be in a position to pay back all my investors in XPR. They may tell me things like ‘that’s not necessary’, they ‘knew the risks’; nevertheless, it’s important to me. And if, when the day comes, they won’t allow me to pay them back, then I’ll pay it forward on their behalf.
I know I’ve been quiet for a while. Sorry for keeping you in the dark. Truth is I was in a dark place. What’s next? Not sure you. But I promise you I will be back. With a vengeance.
